Just a follow up to the previous post re. roaches, sickness and the bridge. One intention in writing here is to be honest with what’s happening – not to sugarcoat everything in b.s. You’ll get the whole package – from the fevers to the divine (I believe the divine is here somewhere!)
Even though I’m laying here with an illness, there is truly also real beauty to this moment. Rosa came today (that in itself is divine!) and I told her, “Yo inferma.” (hopefully that meant I’m sick) She took two passion fruits that she had walked up the river and magically created the most delicious cup of juice for me. It’s the first nutrient I’ve had since two or three days ago and it is succulent, sweet and sour yum.
Outside the window, I have a peak of Sofia and Michelle playing: Both of them are squatted, leaning over into a patch of grass, examining a flower that Sofia is collecting for her “mosquito house project.”
It is gorgeous here. Thick, fluffy greenly engorged mountains encircle the farm from all sides. We are cupped in layers and layers of tree breathing life. Guava, passion fruit, lime, orchids, bird of paradise – the land is laden and bursting with sustenance. At night, Sofia said, “When I look at the leaves on that tree they turn into dinosaurs,” and I know what she means. The leaves are jagged, ridged, jaws gaping in shadow. Leaves waiting, waving, in melodic slow dance. Every time I remember to listen, the river whispers and birds call and coo and chirp.
Right before we left Cohasset, I was trying to answer a Sofia question, regarding the difference between what is alive and not alive. Driving into Boston as we puzzled over this, we agreed that the grass was alive but the highway was not.
Here: Everything is alive. The ground is fertile and filled with life. The river flowing, softly calling – singing of its aliveness. Rosa and the girls, chasing the cats, digging at a tree stump, feet wet in the grass – alive.
I am, too. In bed, with a fever and whatever it is – in spite of it, and including it, I’m alive here. And I embrace all of this life – the challenges and the joy – in the rainforest. Being ill helps me stop so that I can notice and breathe it all in a bit more. Being sick does not diminish the fact that I am very much alive.
I just wanted to bring the lighter side of the situation in too. Peace, love, happiness, health, safety, goodness to all…everyone…